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Mother.. [September 19, 2006 @ 3:11pm]
...And this is your chance to shoot your deepest inner thoughts but your hands are already tied from murder. While the snowflakes fall from street lamps on to your dusty window pane you build your self-evident voice that screams misery. Dare him to see when hes blinded by heart. "Sleigh my tempers valid and leave me to rest, imbalanced yet pure". What more can be expected of a child whose been given life only to fulfill your false sense of security when you were always too afraid to stand on your own, alone.

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An evening in the life of.. [August 14, 2006 @ 11:08pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Chilled on beach.
She found an Evergreen Terrace Cd in a bush.
Smoked up.
Got Head.
Listened to the cd on the way home, head bangin.
Enjoyed myself.
Now shes cranky staring at me type this entrei!
..Got more head...

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[June 16, 2006 @ 11:34pm]
[ mood | angry ]

Its like we play as though were all oblivious to this systematic yet foreign pain when all we thrive for the same way out. Ten thousand faces scream hatred while ten thousand scream joy while the other ten thousand wonder where all the noise is coming from and why.. Is there really an opposite for everything. Does, What goes around, really come back around? If so then why does it seem as though its taking forever. My focus shouldn't be there, but then again where should my focus be when focus is completely overrated. I mean go ahead focus! You see the problem?, staring you right there in the face and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. Hmm its funny how i try and communicate to you through these words and try to show you the best I can what goes on inside, but words are only a mere description of a picture that the brain is trying to portray. I don't think there are words that can describe the emotions ive felt or describe the experiences ive went through this last 6-8 months. After all thoughts lead to feelings, feelings lead to actions, and actions then lead to results... My only question is why are all my results negative. Blueprinting is rough. Changing the buffer on your psychological mindset is not that easy i admit. However I admit one thing. Mine needs some fine tuning. I don't really know what else to say.. I feel lost...
-Check please.

P.S. I kinda wish I hadn't written this.. ::Rage::


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[June 16, 2006 @ 12:06am]
[ mood | blah ]

How can one be so attached to something so stale..
How can one see such a beautiful picture in something with no colour..
How can one believe so strong in something that shows no sign of success..
How can one be so close to something so distant..
How can one feel for something that will not let anything feel for it, or even feel back..
How can one love something with so much anger pented up inside..
How can one give up there freedom only to live in an awkward silence..
How can one believe in nothing..

-There is a greater, much more valuable prize at the end of ones will... ..The beginning..

Follow the sirens and put them all to sleep
Acknowledge the signs and trust..


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The Sound Is Central. [June 04, 2006 @ 6:54pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I don't really know where to start. One week of hell I guess became someone else's week of pleasure. I almost feel like I need to take a step outside of this confined realm of stillness and bathe in freedom. "Trapped", wouldn't even explain it but i guess that's the best word in the english language that makes sense. Where to turn, Who to talk to, Why even have a motive? Ive been letting it ride out, but in some cases theories apply like, "Depression is the constant and we are the temporaries" -Doz. I hate to think that way although 99% of the time its what I encounter. A new perception, a new phase, a new mod dow? What could it be and why now? I think rock bottom has met its new friend. I'm here for now but I feel there are much better candidates then myself for this position. Besides I have a sound that must be heard. For now I will leave you with this. We are friends, but not lovers. I will soon have to let go and you will find another.


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[February 14, 2006 @ 11:20pm]

Eleven words unspoken.

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